Friday, October 31, 2008

My Little Girl


Marissa is clearly not impressed with the Cheerios race car,
and she has no problem letting you know just how unimpressed she is.

I've written a few times about why I am grateful for Mason, but nothing so far about Marissa. Now that she is past her acid reflux/colic stage, I don't generally struggle as much with her as I do with Mason. And since I am trying to use this space to help me remember my many blessings, I often choose to write about things when I am not feeling particularly grateful for them. Anyhow....
Being Marissa's mom is a true blessing. It was a difficult pregnancy. I had high blood pressure. My nephew was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma which was then modified to leukemia because there was such a high level of bone marrow involvement. He nearly died more than once and spent basically my entire pregnancy in the hospital. Landon was sick, primarily because of the stress of his job that he hated. Then we decided near the end of the pregnancy that it was time for Landon to leave his job and find a new one closer to our families. Then we got to deal with moving, a change in jobs and insurance and figuring out how to keep my doctor in the bay area. Then I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and put on bedrest. So, it was a hard time for me to be pregnant. I sometimes wonder how the stress I was under during my pregnancy has affected Marissa.
And who is Marissa? Let me start off by saying she is great. She makes me laugh all the time. Aside from looking basically like a female version of her brother, she is so completely unlike Mason that I am reminded how we are born who we are. Experiences will shape us, but we are ourselves from the beginning. Marissa is strong. She will not be deterred or distracted once she has set her sights on something in particular.
Marissa is observant and curious, often happy to be watching what everyone else is doing before deciding whether she'll participate or if she'd prefer to do her own thing.
Marissa is a little bossy. Okay, she's a lot bossy, but I think that goes along with the whole not being easily deterred. At nine months, she clearly already has her own ideas about how things should be going and what people should be doing to accommodate her. She doesn't want to be fed . . . she wants to do it herself, thank you very much. She doesn't want to sit on your lap . . . she would like to be on the floor so she can get to everything she wants. She has been trying to walk since she was six months old, but thankfully she is still just crawling.
Marissa is a little sadistic, and I have the nursing wounds to prove it. Mason bit me once, and I said "Ouch!" really loudly. The loud noise scared him (loud noises do that to him), he cried a little, and never bit me again. Marissa bites me, I say "Ouch!" and she laughs her little butt off. She does it over and over. Various people tell me the only way they got their biters to stop was by biting them back. Eventually, I reluctantly bit her back (not hard enough to injur, but I thought hard enough to not feel good), and she laughs at me like, "You think that's gonna help? Wrong! I own you woman!"
Marissa takes care of herself whenever possible. When she is hurt, she doesn't want to be snuggled close. She'll cry, sit in your lap if she feels like it, and then she's okay again. She shows her love and appreciation by smacking you in the face over and over (I think it's out of excitement, but it could be that whole sadistic thing), but very rarely gives hugs or kisses to even her most favorite people. She doesn't require the same snugs that Mason does.
Marissa is fun. She likes to play, all the time, although if you aren't Mason, it has to be on her terms. Something that might have cracked her up yesterday will illicit zero interest today. However, she will show you how she wants to play and have lots of fun and giggles if you follow her lead.

Marissa is pretty awesome. I can't wait to see the person she will become. I am proud to be her Mama and eternally grateful that she came to live at my house.
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Monday, October 27, 2008

hooray hooray hooray!

This is a little belated, but I am so very grateful that Landon finally sold the BMW. Hooray, hooray, hooray!!!
I am grateful for Jeanette who saw what a great deal she was getting (it finally sold for nearly $4000 less than Kelly Blue Book value) and that she has good enough credit to secure financing in this crazy market. Oh, hooray! I am so, so happy to be out from under that third, super expensive payment. Hooray!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

being a mom

The last several days, I've really been wanting to change my name. Not from Robyn so much as from Mom. I am in the midst of the fourth cold that Mason has brought home since starting school the end of August. Both my kids are sick too. Also, as it turns out Marissa is a little bit sadistic, and I have a wound on my nipple to prove it. She's grouchy, Mason's grouchy, and I'm grouchy. Grrrrr! At 4 this morning, when Marissa was up and crying for the 6th time, I just really didn't want to be the mom anymore.
So, today I choose to be grateful for being a mom. I am grateful for all the snugs, the kisses, the "Mama, I love you so much!"es, the smiles from my kids while they nurse (not that I nurse Mason anymore), the falling asleep with a baby snuggled into my armpit, the laughing, the sweet clean-baby smells, the playing dress up, the teeny tiny accouterments (cute = small + functional), and the love that fills your heart the first time you meet your brand new little baby. I am grateful that I have been blessed with the ability to have children, without much by way of difficulties. I am grateful for the blessing of getting to stay at home to raise my own children, and for my husband who works so hard every single day so I have that opportunity. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to understand how much my own parents love and cherish me (this is one of the most profound epiphanies parenthood has thus bestowed upon me). I am grateful that I have two healthy, perfect little children with so much personality and intelligence.
Like anything in life, good comes with bad. Sacrifices are necessary for blessings. Being a mom is probably THE most amazing, wonderful, awesome experience of my entire life thus far, even though it comes with a plethora of bodily excretions, often all over the place, a serious lack of sleep, and always having to be the one to take care of things.
Today, I am grateful to be a mom.

Monday, October 13, 2008

to be me!!

Today, I am just feeling fortunate in general. I can't pinpoint one particular thing that I am feeling grateful for, but I am feeling really lucky to be me today. So, I guess today I am grateful just to be me. I've got a great husband... two beautiful kids... a kick-ass mother-in-law... a wonderful extended family... a nice, warm, comfortable bed to sleep in at night (okay, and sometimes during the day too)... great friends... I live in a beautiful place next to all my favorite things and people... I'm just a very lucky girl.
Hooray!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Celebrating Differences

Since I've been struggling with appreciating the views and opinions of others, today I am choosing to be grateful to be in a country where we are all free to celebrate our own differences. Hooray for freedom of religion and for freedom of speech and all the many other freedoms we have here in the United States that really are unique to this great country.
It is easy to get caught up in the details of what makes us different, but I think it is important to remember the many things that make us all the same. That way, we can remember to celebrate and appreciate our differences. The small things that make us special and unique.
I am grateful for the opportunity to be reminded of and to celebrate the various differences from each person to the next.

Monday, October 6, 2008

my sweetie boy

Mason is at that age where he wants everything explained to him, over and over. "Why" is the word of the day. Every day. He is also very interested in jewelry. So, we've talked about the different jewelry I wear and why I wear it. Some of it (most of it, really) has some significance to it, so there is something to explain when he asks. Tonight, we were snuggling in bed after reading "Green Eggs and Ham", and he was fiddling around with my rings. I am wearing my wedding ring, my mother's ring, and the tigers eye ring my dad made for my mom as her first engagement ring (a more traditional one followed). So, he was taking them off my fingers and putting them on his thumbs ("Look! They fit me, Mama!") as I told him why each one was important to me. . . "This is the ring Daddy gave Mommy when they got married. With that ring, he promised to love Mommy forever and ever... This ring shows that I'm a mommy. White stones are for Mason. Red stones are for Marissa... This is a special ring Grandpa Rachac made for Grandma Rachac when he asked her to marry him. He told her that if she would marry him, he would give her this special ring he made..."
Mason was pretty impressed that Grandpa made the ring (it is pretty impressive to me, too), and then he started to tell me about how it got made (he often does this when I'm explaining things... he takes hold to a piece of the story that he obviously finds particularly interesting and adds his own twists). He said that he and Grandpa made the ring together. Mason drove the car and Grandpa got the ring for Grandma Rachac AND Grandma Bailey. And they worked together (Mase and Grandpa) and gave Grandma the beautiful ring.
He cracks me up. He's so sweet and so loving. I just love how he tells people that something is "beautiful." He understands that it's a strong word, and pronounces it very deliberately.
As I type this, I can hear him in his room "reading" books out loud... to himself? Maybe to Teddy? I'm glad he likes stories and books and chatting about things. I'm so lucky to be his mom.

The laziness of a cop

So, after being in Utah for about 45 minutes, I got pulled over for speeding at the airport... Crap. Double crap. We can't afford this!
The cop is like, "About a month ago, a woman lost her life because of a speeder at the airport." Great. Now I get to pay the price for some maniac who didn't slow down at the terminal (my speeding was out on the road as I tried to figure out how to get back to the terminal to pick up my sister and Marissa). I apologize. Try real hard not to offer any excuses, as I am known to do. Cop takes my license back to his car. I know he's writing a citation. SUPER CRAP. How am I gonna pay this thing? Then I realize that my driver's license still has my LA address because the state of California doesn't issue a new license when you change your address. They just tell you to write it in on the back. Which I haven't done because we move every 12-18 months. And I've had 3 different addresses since the one on my license. Anyhow, I wave my arm out the window because the cop expressly told me TWICE to stay in the car. He was already obviously not impressed with me, so I'm sure he's gonna just love that I didn't give him the correct address. He comes back with my citation, and I'm like, "So, I'm really sorry about this, but the address on my license is incorrect. California doesn't issue a new license with an address change, so that is the wrong address."
And he responds, in a very agitated manner, "I was going to give you a break on your speed, but now you're going to have to pay the full fine." Crap! Could this get any worse?? Then he starts in again on how saving a couple of minutes is not worth someone's life. I agree. Just trying to be real agreeable. Apologetic. Then, the most amazing thing happens. The guy totally admits he doesn't want to fill out a new citation, and so he's gonna let me off with a verbal warning.
So. Freaking. Awesome! Hooray!!! Due to the completely awesome laziness of the cop, I don't get a citation. Hooray! Did I mention Hooray?! I'm seriously ready to sing hallelujah out loud. Cause, as you may have seen in my previous post, we ain't got no dang money.
Before he lets me go, the cop gives me this warning, "If you come back speeding at this airport when you're leaving town, we will ream you. You are in our system with a verbal warning. Don't you come back speeding at my airport." Don't you worry, little cop. I will not be speeding anywhere in the entire state of Utah this weekend. I will drive so slowly, it will make old ladies mad.
So Friday, and every day since, I have been very, very grateful for the laziness of a cop. Hooray!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

hooray for savings bonds and missing pesos

After floating 3 car payments for 5 months (~$600/month extra), two speeding tickets (~$700), Mason starting preschool (~$816/month), and generally not being great at following a budget, the Bailey family has officially entered its own financial crisis of sorts. Until we can sell the BMW, our budget literally spends all that we make. Landon broke things down for me and basically told me I have $200 for the next two weeks that has to cover everything... groceries, diapers, you name it. So, I sat down and tried to figure out how to find some extra money. 'Cause with a trip to my cousin's wedding this weekend and generally spending more than $100/week on groceries alone, I wasn't feeling real confidant in being able to stick to that figure.
I looked hard and found 4 $50 savings bonds my uncle got for me in the late 1980's and about $160 worth of pesos Landon never changed back into dollars. When I cashed the bonds, I found out that they had accrued an additional $102.76 in interest.
So, today I am grateful that we were able to come up with over $450 extra dollars. Hooray for savings bonds (thanks Uncle Gary!!!) and those damn pesos!