my mosaic

I thought this was a neat idea that I stole from http://howardbannister.com/?p=149. (I wish I could figure out how to embed that in text, but I'm too stoopid).
There are some pretty frickin' amazing photos on flickr. I think I need to join.

Pigtails!

 

Oh my goodness sakes alive! I might just die from the adorableness!
Today, Marissa let me put some pigtails in her hair. She actually really enjoyed watching what I was doing to her (I did it in front of the mirror). After I finished, she clearly liked what she saw. Too cute!
I'm so grateful for all these fun moments I get to enjoy with my kids!

Sugar and Spice . . . Did I Mention Spice?

 

Marissa is spicy. I get lots and lots of beautiful, smiling pictures out of her all the time, but I also get one or two of her pulling faces like this . . . "What?? Can't you leave me alone already?!"
I love, love, LOVE that you always know EXACTLY how Marissa is feeling. She already tells it like it is through her very expressive face. She doesn't put up with anyone else's crap, and I just adore that about her.
I'm so grateful to be her mommy.

My Little Boy

I think fall is now officially over (see what I was talking about with the quick transition periods?). It's been cold and rainy for about a week now, and all the trees are bare. I always struggle a bit when there hasn't been sunshine for a few days (photosensitivity?), but then Mason does something super awesome, and all is well again.
In an effort to find a dress to wear to Landon's office party, I braved the cold and the rain with my kids in tow. When we pulled into the parking lot, there were lots of puddles. Mason was well-equipped to handle the puddles with his rain boots and rain coat, and he was very eager to give it a go. I told him he could jump AFTER we went into the store if he was a nice boy. He was a nice boy, and so when it was time to go, I released him into the puddles.

 

There was an extra big puddle there. Mason told me that there might be fish in that one. "We can't jump in that puddle, Mom. It's bery, bery deep. There might be fish in there!" Oh, he cracks me up.
I am so grateful of the gentle reminders I get from my children about appreciating all the little things, like jumping in puddles after the rain. I'm so lucky to be that little dude's mom.

My Beautiful Family

As the primary photographer in our family, I don't get to be in a lot of photographs. This is generally okay by me, but I know that one day my kids will want to have pictures of me too. So, when the opportunity presents itself, I try to have fun and look okay. And every once in a while, we manage to get a gem like this one.

 

Thank you, Caitlin, for this beautiful picture of my beautiful family!

The Best Christmas Tree . . . EVER!

Yesterday, despite forecasts of rain, we woke up to one of the first clear, blue skies in weeks. Landon had planned on working all day (on Saturday), and I was going to hang out with the kids inside since they're sick and I'm trying my darndest to not also get sick. But, the sky was just so crisp and clear, we decided to go get a Christmas tree instead. Landon called our friend, Stacey, to see if we were still invited to her family's annual Christmas tree cutting extravaganza. Upon confirmation that we could make it in time to go with Stacey's family, we hurriedly got the kids and ourselves ready to go.
After some searching on pretty gnarly terrain carrying my 20+ pound baby in my arms, we found a tree we liked. Landon climbed up the trunk of the original tree our tree was growing out of and cut our tree down. (I enjoy watching my husband do stuff like that. It's sexy.)


Anyhow, we trudged back down to the "office", got the tree wrapped and tied onto our roof, paid for it and left. Despite the obvious fatigue setting in for our kids, we stopped at a little restaurant I used to go to in high school and had a nice meal. Then we headed home, kids conked out in the back.
Landon and I managed to get the tree up and situated where we wanted while the kids finished napping once we got home. We also managed to track down our Christmas decorations and got them out and ready to decorate once the kids woke up.


Mason was SO excited to decorate the tree. And he kept declaring, over and over, "This is going to be the best Christmas tree EVER!" which melted my heart and made me so happy.


So today, I am grateful for the best Christmas tree EVER!

Capital One is Awesome

Seriously. Awesome.
I have had a Capital One credit card for years now and I have always been very happy with them. They have handled more than one dispute without me having to do hardly anything. They give me lots of rewards for the money I spend, and today they handled a change in my travel plans beautifully. The people were great. They were easy to understand and genuinely seemed concerned about the problem I was having (which was the airline's fault, not Capital One's).
Landon and I have had credit cards from all the major issuers (Chase, Citibank, American Express, etc), and while some of them are better than others, and some of them downright suck, Capital One is the by far the best.
I was seriously so happy about the service I just received that I had to share it with you. It was that good.

Experience

Today, both of my kids have colds. Nothing too serious, but they are stuffed up and have little cough-ers. Also, they are grouchy and whiny. I think that is to be expected, though.
Tonight, I took Marissa through her bedtime routine. Bath. Book. Nursing. She tried really hard to fall asleep, but she just couldn't breathe. I wiped her nose. She still couldn't breathe. She fussed and cried and generally got mad about being so darn tired but unable to sleep. So, I did something that I never (successfully) did when Mason was a baby. I got the aspirator and I sucked the snot out of her nose. She didn't like it. It made her super mad. But, I got enough out so she could breathe and suck her paci and fall asleep in my arms.
It made me think about the one time I tried to aspirate Mason's nose. He was probably about the same age as Marissa, maybe a little younger. I got one nostril and then he flipped out. I made him cry, which made me cry. I couldn't bring myself to aspirate the other nostril. It just felt wrong to do something that would make my little baby cry. I don't know for sure, but I have a feeling there wasn't much sleeping that night, probably because I never managed to get his little nose aspirated well enough to breathe.
After Marissa fell asleep and I put her in her crib, I thought about how being a mom the second time around is easier in a lot of ways. I understand now that I am necessarily going to have to do things that my kids won't like, and it doesn't make me a bad mom. In fact, it might make me a good mom that I am able to stick to my guns and do what I know will be best for my kids, even if, at the time, it makes them cry. Like tonight, when I asked Mason what he wanted for dinner, he said ice cream. I think it's pretty easy for most moms to say, "um. Nope. Ice cream is not a dinner option." He wanted ice cream, and actually did whine a little when I told him no, but he didn't have ice cream for dinner. That's just not okay.
Down the road, I'm sure I'll have to face down much tougher opponents than aspirators or ice cream for dinner, but these experiences are preparing me for the tougher battles that lay ahead. For that experience, I am truly grateful.

more fall fun

Since it's been feeling like fall lately, I've been itching to get some pictures of my kids in the fall leaves. So, this weekend, I forced my kids to get into their cutesy Christmas clothes and have their pictures taken. I got lots of beautiful pictures of my little girl and some pretty good ones of her older, less cooperative brother. I have been admiring the pictures since I took them on Saturday, and finally decided I can't wait any longer to put some up. So here they are...

I love the fall!

Mason and his cousins enjoying the chance to play in the leaves last fall.

The last couple of weeks, it's feeling like fall, and I love it! Our neighborhood is full of mature maple trees and other species with great fall color. Driving down Florin (west of I-5) is one of my favorite past times lately, with all the beautiful color! We Californians don't really get much in the form of seasons... here in Sacramento, mostly we just get summer and winter with a real short adjustment period in between. So I am going to enjoy the autumn while it lasts. So beautiful!

A Day Off

Yesterday, I had the first full day off since before Marissa was born. As I pumped breast milk in preparation of my day off, I got more and more excited for what was in store. Hooray for days off!
And what a great day off it was!!
Landon and I took Landon's dad, Gary, down to Berkeley for The Big Game. Landon's dad didn't have the opportunity to go to college, and he gets such a kick out of being able to participate in events related to being a college student or alumni. Landon took him to a game a few weeks ago, which he loved even though it was raining and generally pretty miserable to be outside.
The day was beautiful. Perfect day to be outside, really. My kids were with Landon's mom (who, as I have pointed out more than once, is super awesome), having their own sort of special day. We walked all the way up to the stadium from the BART station, which was invigorating and wonderful. There was a lot of excitement all around, with entire families of generations of Cal Alums gathered to watch Cal take the Axe back from Stanford.
The game was great. The first half was sort of flat and not all that exciting, but we went into halftime with a lead (always good). Coach made some great adjustments at the half and we came out looking like a different team. There were some awesome trick plays, some regular plays pulled off with great athleticism and finesse, and some super awesome defensive stops. We got the Axe back handily. Pretty awesome.
During the game, the announcer was pushing attendance at the Cal Women's Volleyball game V. USC later in the day. Anyone who came from the football game could get in free with their football ticket stub. I really wanted to go, but wasn't sure about how my mil and fil would feel about staying for a few extra hours. Landon talked to his parents and got the okay for us to go to the volleyball game. It was also super awesome! We started out great in the first set, but then after a few unforced errors, we were sort of digging ourselves into a hole. We dropped the first set and then went down 24-16 in the second. No sooner than Landon had commented on the futility of that set, we rallied back and won the second set 30-28. The last two sets were won pretty easily by us... The final was 25-6.
While in Berkeley, I got to enjoy a La Burrita burrito, although they messed up my order and gave me a carne asada instead of the pollo asado I ordered, but it was yummy nonetheless. I really enjoyed walking through the campus along Strawberry Creek. I enjoyed being back in the bay with it's beautiful (perfect?) weather and like-minded people everywhere. I had fun at the football game and a BLAST getting to watch our women's volleyball team come back with some awesome playing. Just a really fun day!
Oh! And on the way home, I got some Krispy Kreme doughnuts and an ice cold rootbeer. What a great day off! I am so lucky!

A Really Long List

In an effort to move those pictures from yesterday's post farther down my screen, I am going to make a long list of things for which I am grateful today. Because, as I pointed out yesterday, just the mere thought of that guy makes me itch all over. Plus, it's a good exercise in what I am trying to accomplish here.
Today, I am grateful:
-- for my husband, Landon, who is so wonderful and loving and funny
-- for my two kids, Mason and Marissa, who bring me more joy and love than I ever knew was possible
-- that Landon and I appear to be past the worst of our crunched finances (hooray for selling the BMW!)
-- that the holidays are upon us. I love this time of year!
-- that Landon is not at a large firm that is seeing big layoffs
-- that Landon is busy at work, which means he has some job security in this time of uncertainty
-- that our friend, Gavin's, home was spared in the Tea Fire
-- that I've had the opportunity to befriend and get to know my step-niece and her wife in the last month
-- that my family is in good health this year
-- that I am getting better at being a housewife
-- that I get to have a day off on Saturday with my husband
-- that my mother-in-law can't wait to take my kids off my hands for a whole day
-- that my children are healthy and happy
-- that my brother, Devin, is someplace safe this year
-- that my brother, Devin, is finally getting help with his life-long struggle with addiction
-- that my brother, Devin, is finally getting an education and some job training so he will be marketable when he leaves rehab
-- that I have been able to resolve my cognitive dissidence with my family and our polar opposite political views
-- that my siblings are all still employed and keeping their heads above water when so many others are not right now
-- that I am able to continue to learn how to be a better mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend and human being
-- that I live in a country where I get to actively voice my opinion on anything I choose without being imprisoned or otherwise punished when I disagree with the government or the majority
-- for my talents and intelligence, all of which make my life easier and more enjoyable
-- for really good dessert (not everything needs to be profound, right?)
-- for chocolate
-- for my camera and the hours of enjoyment I get from taking photographs
-- for good wine and a nice buzz
-- for bubble baths (mmmmm... bubble baths)
-- for good health care so I don't develop crazy, out of control hpv infections (and here I thought I had moved past that... oh! the itchiness)

another aside

Landon recently discovered that I have this weird, psychosomatic response to things that gross me out. . . they make me itch. I think it's akin to the whole idea of something making your "skin crawl," but if something really grosses me out, it makes me itch, especially on my scalp.
There aren't a lot of things that make me itch all over, but Landon is making the most of talking about the things that do. Like, the ants that colonized the top of our electrical plug, laying eggs and generally overtaking the spot (because it was so nice and warm?). Or the homeless guy with a maggot boot. Or that guy from Indonesia that they call the "Tree Man".

Sometimes, I lay in bed at night grossing out big time over the Tree Man. The smell. The bugs that are probably colonizing all the disgusting folds in his warty skin. Just the general dirtiness of the whole thing. It. Is. So. Disturbing. Yuck.
I'm itching all over just thinking about it right now.
So last night, Landon was trying to creep me out. And I started thinking about the Tree Man. I had to know if he was getting better, so I wouldn't have to lay in bed at night thinking about all those disgusting warts. Turns out, he's getting better, but he'll always have some warts. I found this a little disheartening for a couple of reasons. First, that poor guy has disgusting warts all over his frickin' body. Sure, he can use his hands again, but they don't really look like hands. They probably don't feel like hands either. To him or to other people. Second, I will never be able to just forget about the Tree Man because he'll always have those awful warts.

I know it's probably not very nice of me to be so grossed out by this guy's pitiable condition (it's not like he has the warts because he's gross or something), but I just can't stop itching when ever I think about it. It's like the feeling I get when I'm walking on the sidewalk at night in Hollywood and you just can't help stepping on roaches. Lots of roaches. So. Glad. I. Don't. Live. In. LA. Gross.

Some Photos That Make Me Happy

Great Family = Great Friends

After spending the day out at my parents' home, I am feeling very grateful for my amazing family. Being the sixth of seven kids, I was never in need of playmates. I learned to share everything from a young age and how to let go when things don't go as you may have planned. Being part of a large family comes with many unique blessings that only people from big families understand, and I am no exception to that. I think for which I am most grateful, however, is how my family members are also my closest friends.
Having four sisters is pretty. . . interesting. It must have been hell to have five daughters because, let's be honest, parents worry more about their daughters. But, I am particularly grateful that I have so many sisters. I doubt very much that we would be friends if we weren't sisters, but because they are my sisters, they are my best friends. We are so different in so many ways . . . and there are definitely moments when I wonder how we manage to get along (particularly during election season) . . . but they understand me on a level no one else does. They are my fiercest defenders and would do anything they could to help me out. They love me even though they know how difficult I can be to love. I imagine that we will be close friends for the rest of our lives because that is just how important we all are to one another. It's pretty awesome.
Since I had kids, my giant family has presented even more blessings. As I pulled into my parents' driveway this morning, Mason noticed that the cars of his two aunts were already parked out there. He was overjoyed as he saw his favorite cousins pull around the front of the house on their tricycles. The three of them played for hours together, never tiring of the others' company, and I think they would all be perfectly content to do so pretty much any day of the week. They just love being together and look forward to the next time they get to play.
None of my siblings decided to have a large family themselves (well, I guess it's yet to be seen with the youngest), but because we have all stayed close, our children have been the beneficiaries of being part of a large family. With 19 grandkids and counting, everyone has playmates who are better than your average friend because they are family. And our great family just seems to equal great friends!

About Corra

One of my first posts was about Corra being burned. So I thought I would update today about Corra.
At the end of May or very beginning of June, Corra fell into the fire pit where her parents had been burning brush and branches the day before. There were no visible coals, but she was burned pretty badly. She had 2nd degree burns on both her hands and arms with some 3rd degree burns on her left hand. She spent a few days in the burn unit at the Shriners hospital (hooray for Shriners Hospitals, by the way. What an awesome organization!). She had to wear dressings for weeks, developed a nasty staph infection, and was just miserable for a while.
But Corra has healed beautifully. She has been wearing pressurized gloves to promote healing and reduce scar tissue since her burns were healed enough to not ooze or weap. Every time she's been into the doctor, they have been amazed at how quickly and how well she has healed. They said she would have to wear the gloves for a year. Last week, they told her that she didn't have to wear either of the sleeves on her arms, and that she only needed to wear one of her gloves (on the left hand where she was burned the worst). They said that if she keeps healing this well, she'll be able to stop wearing the other glove too in a couple of months.
I am so grateful that Corra was not hurt worse than she was. How scared we all were, waiting to find out how severe her injuries were. I am so, so grateful for the top-notch care she received at Shriners, all of which had no out-of-pocket cost to my sister's family. I am grateful for Corra's healthy little body working so hard to heal itself so quickly and so well. I am grateful that she has come through such a traumatic event with no lasting effects emotionally and minimal scarring physically.
I am just so grateful.

Landon is Great... Give Him Some Chocolate Cake!

While I'm on the subject of people who give me hope and make me think that maybe not everyone is a total a-hole, I'd like to talk about Landon.
Landon is smart. Landon is thoughtful. Landon tries really hard every day to make good choices for himself, his family, and for everyone he knows. Landon has integrity and courage. Landon is a good man, and I am lucky to be his wife.
I am grateful for his strength and his courage. I am grateful for his selflessness and willingness to make great personal sacrifices to benefit his family and our future.
Landon and I are both very opinionated and strong-willed, which does not always bode well for harmony in our home. Fortunately, we mostly agree about life's little details. I think I would do well to argue less and listen more, but don't tell Landon. An opinionated, ornery girl like me has a hard time listening sometimes.
I love Landon so very much. I am glad we both stuck to it over the years (ten years now!).

my friend Laura

Today I am grateful for my friend, Laura. Laura is a religious girl from Texas. When our friend, Gavin, told us he was seriously dating a religious girl from Texas, Landon and I were a little worried. Not that we stereotype or anything. But anyhow...
Yesterday, I was feeling pretty despondent over the fact that 52% of California voters voted in favor of amending our state constitution to add that the state will only recognize marriages between a man and a woman. I feel very bothered that a majority, small though it was, wants to write discrimination into our CONSTITUTION. I was sad and discouraged and also a little scared. You know, the whole tyranny of the majority thing. It's scary. I was really struggling with the hold that religious zealots have over our country and even have over a state like California that is supposed to be so progressive. And I was starting to really strongly dislike religious folks. Which is hard when you're from a family of pretty religious folks, whom you love. I was having some cognitive dissidence, for sure.
Then this morning, my friend Laura has posted on her Facebook page that she is ashamed of the discrimination and bigotry. So Laura and I started talking about the various and sundry ways people have used and continue to use both the Bible and God as evidence of why it is okay for them to do awful things. We talked about how people use their religion to cover their own ignorance and bigotry. We talked about all the crazy things that are deemed perfectly acceptable in the Bible, and how easy it is for people to pick and choose the ones they personally agree with. In the midst of this conversation, I stopped feeling so despondent and so angry. I started to feel hope because here I was talking to a religious person who is thoughtful and loving and Christ-like. Someone who really does try to live like Jesus taught in the Bible.
Today, I feel so very grateful that there are people who can simultaneously believe in religion AND believe in treating all people like people deserve to be treated. I am grateful for my friend, Laura, for helping me feel hope again that we can overcome the hate and the bigotry that is being legislated all over our country.

My Little Girl

Marissa is clearly not impressed with the Cheerios race car,
and she has no problem letting you know just how unimpressed she is.

I've written a few times about why I am grateful for Mason, but nothing so far about Marissa. Now that she is past her acid reflux/colic stage, I don't generally struggle as much with her as I do with Mason. And since I am trying to use this space to help me remember my many blessings, I often choose to write about things when I am not feeling particularly grateful for them. Anyhow....
Being Marissa's mom is a true blessing. It was a difficult pregnancy. I had high blood pressure. My nephew was diagnosed with stage 4 lymphoma which was then modified to leukemia because there was such a high level of bone marrow involvement. He nearly died more than once and spent basically my entire pregnancy in the hospital. Landon was sick, primarily because of the stress of his job that he hated. Then we decided near the end of the pregnancy that it was time for Landon to leave his job and find a new one closer to our families. Then we got to deal with moving, a change in jobs and insurance and figuring out how to keep my doctor in the bay area. Then I was diagnosed with preeclampsia and put on bedrest. So, it was a hard time for me to be pregnant. I sometimes wonder how the stress I was under during my pregnancy has affected Marissa.
And who is Marissa? Let me start off by saying she is great. She makes me laugh all the time. Aside from looking basically like a female version of her brother, she is so completely unlike Mason that I am reminded how we are born who we are. Experiences will shape us, but we are ourselves from the beginning. Marissa is strong. She will not be deterred or distracted once she has set her sights on something in particular.
Marissa is observant and curious, often happy to be watching what everyone else is doing before deciding whether she'll participate or if she'd prefer to do her own thing.
Marissa is a little bossy. Okay, she's a lot bossy, but I think that goes along with the whole not being easily deterred. At nine months, she clearly already has her own ideas about how things should be going and what people should be doing to accommodate her. She doesn't want to be fed . . . she wants to do it herself, thank you very much. She doesn't want to sit on your lap . . . she would like to be on the floor so she can get to everything she wants. She has been trying to walk since she was six months old, but thankfully she is still just crawling.
Marissa is a little sadistic, and I have the nursing wounds to prove it. Mason bit me once, and I said "Ouch!" really loudly. The loud noise scared him (loud noises do that to him), he cried a little, and never bit me again. Marissa bites me, I say "Ouch!" and she laughs her little butt off. She does it over and over. Various people tell me the only way they got their biters to stop was by biting them back. Eventually, I reluctantly bit her back (not hard enough to injur, but I thought hard enough to not feel good), and she laughs at me like, "You think that's gonna help? Wrong! I own you woman!"
Marissa takes care of herself whenever possible. When she is hurt, she doesn't want to be snuggled close. She'll cry, sit in your lap if she feels like it, and then she's okay again. She shows her love and appreciation by smacking you in the face over and over (I think it's out of excitement, but it could be that whole sadistic thing), but very rarely gives hugs or kisses to even her most favorite people. She doesn't require the same snugs that Mason does.
Marissa is fun. She likes to play, all the time, although if you aren't Mason, it has to be on her terms. Something that might have cracked her up yesterday will illicit zero interest today. However, she will show you how she wants to play and have lots of fun and giggles if you follow her lead.

Marissa is pretty awesome. I can't wait to see the person she will become. I am proud to be her Mama and eternally grateful that she came to live at my house.

hooray hooray hooray!

This is a little belated, but I am so very grateful that Landon finally sold the BMW. Hooray, hooray, hooray!!!
I am grateful for Jeanette who saw what a great deal she was getting (it finally sold for nearly $4000 less than Kelly Blue Book value) and that she has good enough credit to secure financing in this crazy market. Oh, hooray! I am so, so happy to be out from under that third, super expensive payment. Hooray!

being a mom

The last several days, I've really been wanting to change my name. Not from Robyn so much as from Mom. I am in the midst of the fourth cold that Mason has brought home since starting school the end of August. Both my kids are sick too. Also, as it turns out Marissa is a little bit sadistic, and I have a wound on my nipple to prove it. She's grouchy, Mason's grouchy, and I'm grouchy. Grrrrr! At 4 this morning, when Marissa was up and crying for the 6th time, I just really didn't want to be the mom anymore.
So, today I choose to be grateful for being a mom. I am grateful for all the snugs, the kisses, the "Mama, I love you so much!"es, the smiles from my kids while they nurse (not that I nurse Mason anymore), the falling asleep with a baby snuggled into my armpit, the laughing, the sweet clean-baby smells, the playing dress up, the teeny tiny accouterments (cute = small + functional), and the love that fills your heart the first time you meet your brand new little baby. I am grateful that I have been blessed with the ability to have children, without much by way of difficulties. I am grateful for the blessing of getting to stay at home to raise my own children, and for my husband who works so hard every single day so I have that opportunity. I am grateful that I have the opportunity to understand how much my own parents love and cherish me (this is one of the most profound epiphanies parenthood has thus bestowed upon me). I am grateful that I have two healthy, perfect little children with so much personality and intelligence.
Like anything in life, good comes with bad. Sacrifices are necessary for blessings. Being a mom is probably THE most amazing, wonderful, awesome experience of my entire life thus far, even though it comes with a plethora of bodily excretions, often all over the place, a serious lack of sleep, and always having to be the one to take care of things.
Today, I am grateful to be a mom.

to be me!!

Today, I am just feeling fortunate in general. I can't pinpoint one particular thing that I am feeling grateful for, but I am feeling really lucky to be me today. So, I guess today I am grateful just to be me. I've got a great husband... two beautiful kids... a kick-ass mother-in-law... a wonderful extended family... a nice, warm, comfortable bed to sleep in at night (okay, and sometimes during the day too)... great friends... I live in a beautiful place next to all my favorite things and people... I'm just a very lucky girl.
Hooray!

Celebrating Differences

Since I've been struggling with appreciating the views and opinions of others, today I am choosing to be grateful to be in a country where we are all free to celebrate our own differences. Hooray for freedom of religion and for freedom of speech and all the many other freedoms we have here in the United States that really are unique to this great country.
It is easy to get caught up in the details of what makes us different, but I think it is important to remember the many things that make us all the same. That way, we can remember to celebrate and appreciate our differences. The small things that make us special and unique.
I am grateful for the opportunity to be reminded of and to celebrate the various differences from each person to the next.

my sweetie boy

Mason is at that age where he wants everything explained to him, over and over. "Why" is the word of the day. Every day. He is also very interested in jewelry. So, we've talked about the different jewelry I wear and why I wear it. Some of it (most of it, really) has some significance to it, so there is something to explain when he asks. Tonight, we were snuggling in bed after reading "Green Eggs and Ham", and he was fiddling around with my rings. I am wearing my wedding ring, my mother's ring, and the tigers eye ring my dad made for my mom as her first engagement ring (a more traditional one followed). So, he was taking them off my fingers and putting them on his thumbs ("Look! They fit me, Mama!") as I told him why each one was important to me. . . "This is the ring Daddy gave Mommy when they got married. With that ring, he promised to love Mommy forever and ever... This ring shows that I'm a mommy. White stones are for Mason. Red stones are for Marissa... This is a special ring Grandpa Rachac made for Grandma Rachac when he asked her to marry him. He told her that if she would marry him, he would give her this special ring he made..."
Mason was pretty impressed that Grandpa made the ring (it is pretty impressive to me, too), and then he started to tell me about how it got made (he often does this when I'm explaining things... he takes hold to a piece of the story that he obviously finds particularly interesting and adds his own twists). He said that he and Grandpa made the ring together. Mason drove the car and Grandpa got the ring for Grandma Rachac AND Grandma Bailey. And they worked together (Mase and Grandpa) and gave Grandma the beautiful ring.
He cracks me up. He's so sweet and so loving. I just love how he tells people that something is "beautiful." He understands that it's a strong word, and pronounces it very deliberately.
As I type this, I can hear him in his room "reading" books out loud... to himself? Maybe to Teddy? I'm glad he likes stories and books and chatting about things. I'm so lucky to be his mom.

The laziness of a cop

So, after being in Utah for about 45 minutes, I got pulled over for speeding at the airport... Crap. Double crap. We can't afford this!
The cop is like, "About a month ago, a woman lost her life because of a speeder at the airport." Great. Now I get to pay the price for some maniac who didn't slow down at the terminal (my speeding was out on the road as I tried to figure out how to get back to the terminal to pick up my sister and Marissa). I apologize. Try real hard not to offer any excuses, as I am known to do. Cop takes my license back to his car. I know he's writing a citation. SUPER CRAP. How am I gonna pay this thing? Then I realize that my driver's license still has my LA address because the state of California doesn't issue a new license when you change your address. They just tell you to write it in on the back. Which I haven't done because we move every 12-18 months. And I've had 3 different addresses since the one on my license. Anyhow, I wave my arm out the window because the cop expressly told me TWICE to stay in the car. He was already obviously not impressed with me, so I'm sure he's gonna just love that I didn't give him the correct address. He comes back with my citation, and I'm like, "So, I'm really sorry about this, but the address on my license is incorrect. California doesn't issue a new license with an address change, so that is the wrong address."
And he responds, in a very agitated manner, "I was going to give you a break on your speed, but now you're going to have to pay the full fine." Crap! Could this get any worse?? Then he starts in again on how saving a couple of minutes is not worth someone's life. I agree. Just trying to be real agreeable. Apologetic. Then, the most amazing thing happens. The guy totally admits he doesn't want to fill out a new citation, and so he's gonna let me off with a verbal warning.
So. Freaking. Awesome! Hooray!!! Due to the completely awesome laziness of the cop, I don't get a citation. Hooray! Did I mention Hooray?! I'm seriously ready to sing hallelujah out loud. Cause, as you may have seen in my previous post, we ain't got no dang money.
Before he lets me go, the cop gives me this warning, "If you come back speeding at this airport when you're leaving town, we will ream you. You are in our system with a verbal warning. Don't you come back speeding at my airport." Don't you worry, little cop. I will not be speeding anywhere in the entire state of Utah this weekend. I will drive so slowly, it will make old ladies mad.
So Friday, and every day since, I have been very, very grateful for the laziness of a cop. Hooray!

hooray for savings bonds and missing pesos

After floating 3 car payments for 5 months (~$600/month extra), two speeding tickets (~$700), Mason starting preschool (~$816/month), and generally not being great at following a budget, the Bailey family has officially entered its own financial crisis of sorts. Until we can sell the BMW, our budget literally spends all that we make. Landon broke things down for me and basically told me I have $200 for the next two weeks that has to cover everything... groceries, diapers, you name it. So, I sat down and tried to figure out how to find some extra money. 'Cause with a trip to my cousin's wedding this weekend and generally spending more than $100/week on groceries alone, I wasn't feeling real confidant in being able to stick to that figure.
I looked hard and found 4 $50 savings bonds my uncle got for me in the late 1980's and about $160 worth of pesos Landon never changed back into dollars. When I cashed the bonds, I found out that they had accrued an additional $102.76 in interest.
So, today I am grateful that we were able to come up with over $450 extra dollars. Hooray for savings bonds (thanks Uncle Gary!!!) and those damn pesos!

Family is the best!

I spent the last two days with my family, and I am feeling so grateful to have such a large and loving group of people to be related to. My sisters are my best friends. Their children are best friends with my children. We all get together and just really enjoy ourselves, even two days in a row. We are all different in many ways... In fact, I'm pretty sure if we weren't related we would have never become friends, but we all love each other, respect each other, and want to spend time together.
Also, I'm really grateful that we live back in the Sacramento area where we live close enough to our families that we get to enjoy their company when ever we want. It has been a huge blessing in my life to be back near family after living elsewhere for more than 7 years. Yahoo!

My MIL

Today, I am feeling extra grateful for my super awesome mother-in-law. Ever since I met her, nearly 10 years ago, Kelly has been great to me. Better than you could ever hope for from anyone, much less your mother-in-law. She has always treated me like the daughter she never had, long before it was clear whether I would ever actually become that daughter for real. She loves me, respects me and tries to do everything in her power to make me happy. Sometimes, she'll slip me $50 (or more even) and tell me to go get a manicure or buy myself some shoes. She is so awesome.
Kelly loves her grandbabies, and I feel extra lucky that my kids are her only grandchildren. She dotes on those two like you wouldn't believe. She adores my two little ones, and they adore her in return. She's always calling (but not in an annoying, intrusive way) wondering if there is anything they need (diapers? clothes? anything, please???) and when she can babysit for us next. We go up there at least once a month to hand over the kids and literally take naps all day while she takes care of the children. In between naps, she waits on us, prepares special meals for us, and is just generally wonderful.
Today, after returning to my in-laws from a nice little afternoon date with my husband, Kelly says to me, "You know, I think it's really important for you and Landon to have more time to be alone together. I'd like to give you at least 2 nights a month for date nights. It can be any day... even in the middle of the week... just call me up and I'll come down and keep the kids for you." We live about 45 minutes away, she works super early in the morning, and here she is telling me to call her ANY TIME so I can have some selfish time with my husband. Now that is love.
I sometimes joke with Landon that his mom likes me more than she likes him because she is just that wonderful to me. I'm incredibly blessed that I get to be the daughter she never had.

Not to be redundant...

... but I have a great husband. I am very grateful for Landon and all he does for me. I've been sick... feeling pretty craptastic, and he's done all that he could to help me feel better. I'm so lucky to be his wife!

The funny things kids say...

I spend much of my time alternately laughing my butt off or feeling really frustrated. Such are the highs and lows of being an at-home mom. As I was laying down with Mason this afternoon to begin his nap, we were singing some songs together. His newest favorite goes like this:
Here's a ball for baby, big and fat and round.
Here's the baby's hammer, see how s/he can pound!
Hear the baby's music, do-da-do-da-doooo.
Here's how the baby plays peek-a-boo!
Here's a big umbrella to keep the baby dry.
This is the way the mama rocks the baby-bye.

There are little hand movements that accompany each line of the song, and I think that is part of what Mason loves about this particular song. Anyhow, we finished singing it together and then he asked to sing it again. I said I wanted to sing a different song, so he then told me that I forgot some lyrics of the first. Then he sang the following, pretty much to the same tune as the song above.
"There's the tricky chicken who tricks the baby.
Then the mom gets mad and kicks the chicken."

That just cracked me up. A lot. So the song got more elaborate (Have I mentioned that Mason is a bit of a ham?). Next, the song involved the chicken pecking the baby and doing other mean things, but it always ended with the mom kicking the chicken. I'm not real sure why that is... I don't recall ever kicking a chicken, or doing something that would otherwise indicate that kicking a chicken would be the correct response to such a situation, but the mama was definitely kicking that tricky chicken.

I'm so grateful for the many little moments when my kids make me laugh and laugh.

my mom rocks

I love my mom. She's real great. I feel grateful for her every day. And here are just a few reasons why:
1) She raised seven kids, basically on her own.
2) All seven of her kids love her and want to be near her.
3) She is very patient.
4) She always has great advice, but she never offers it unless asked.
5) She is very thoughtful.
6) She is very gracious.
7) She knows a little about everything, a lot about some things, but has no problem acknowledging when she just doesn't know the answer.
8) She is super chill, but also very dependable.
9) She is very humble about her many talents and great intelligence.
10) She isn't afraid of hard work.
11) She loves my dad and stuck by him for the last 41 years (and believe me, if that were all she'd ever done, it would be enough!)
12) She is a great friend to everyone.

Landon often tells me that he hopes I will be more like my mom when I grow up. Coming from Landon, that is a huge, huge compliment for my mom. But I have the same aspiration for myself!

Second, Third, or even One Hundredth Chances...

Yesterday was "Parents' Day" at the rehab facility to which my brother was recently admitted. The facility is in San Francisco, and my mom felt like she should be there since they don't allow much contact between the patients and their families in the first fifteen (or so) months of their programs. Now, my mom isn't exactly old, but she doesn't drive much in cities these days and was recently in an accident (other driver's fault), so I offered to drive her down to SF. Landon and I enjoy going to the city, so we decided to go have a fun day wandering in the city with the kids. All of this is mostly back story, so anyhow...
My brother will be 35 years old in October, 7 years my senior. He is the middle child, number four of seven kids, and I think that his position in the family explains who he is to a degree. I also think the fact that he was the baby of the family for more than four years before a younger sibling came around explains something about how he's "turned out." At any rate, my brother started smoking pot at age 9 and has been in and out of correctional facilities since I can remember. He was expelled from junior high for selling no-doze to other kids. He never graduated from high school, and I'm not even sure he got the equivalent of a tenth grade education. After running away at age 17 because my parents wouldn't let him get married, my parents relented and allowed the marriage. He and his first wife were both drug abusers, plus she had a history of mental illness. They eventually had two kids, but my brother has never been a stable part of their lives. When the kids were five and six, my brother's wife was killed in a tragic if not unusual car accident, and my brother stepped up to the plate for the first time in my memory. He wasn't using, he was working hard at a legitimate job, and tried his best to be a good dad. He remarried. His life was pretty stable. They were building a house on my parent's property. They decided to have another child. Somewhere in the middle of this, though, he started using again. Within a week or two of the birth of his third child, he disappeared. Soon after, he was arrested again.
In all the insanity that ensued, my parents took legal guardianship of my brother's two older children. My brother served his sentence and got out of prison. My parents let him stay with them for a while to help him get on track and be near his kids. Eventually, they asked him to move out so he could become independent and self-sufficient. He didn't do so great, and was back in prison not long after leaving my parents' home. After he got out of prison this time, my parents decided not to help him. In fact, they told him he wasn't welcome at their home at all. He never really had any stability during this period and was arrested again, with the worst offenses he's ever committed. Fortunately for my brother, a woman who advocates on behalf of people like my brother, who have a long history of drug problems and other arrests related to that problem, started working on my brother's case and pushed hard for him to go to rehab in lieu of more prison. Somehow, in the more than 25 years of drug use/abuse in my brother's life, he has never before been in a drug rehabilitation program... lots of time in correctional facilities, just no rehab. The local DA was not so keen on allowing him to go to rehab, but the judge allowed it, and after nearly 8 months of waiting and making deals, my brother was transferred to his rehab program.
The thing is, I stopped allowing myself to care much about what my brother was doing years ago (around the time he threatened my life). Like everyone in our family, I was sick of the years of being disappointed, worried, and flat out scared. I decided there was no reason to hope, and have just had no strong feelings about anything related to him, his life, or his future. That was until yesterday morning.
Before we left to take my mom to San Francisco, I started researching the program my brother started. I had heard that they have a very high success rate (in the 85% range, I believe), but didn't give it much thought. The program he is in now though is amazing. I cried and cried as I read about how it works and why it succeeds. It's unlike any other program I've heard about, and for the first time in many years, I felt hope for my brother. And it was nice to feel that way.
So today I am very grateful for the second, third or even one hundredth chances that God gives us to learn the lessons we need to learn. I hope that my brother finally finds his true value as a man and feels the love God has for him. I hope that he learns how to live life free of drugs and alcohol abuse and how to be a person again.
The program is called the Delancey Street Foundation. Check it out. It's amazing.
www. delanceystreetfoundation.org

The things we don't notice until they're gone

Landon has been suffering with back/neck pain since I've known him. Turns out he has a congenital deformation of the spine in c5 or c6 (I can't remember for sure). I know he is often in pain, but he just deals with it. What else can he do? He's been hurting pretty badly for the last several days, and it's made me think about the many things I take for granted because they are constants in my life. Not anything new or necessarily exciting, but certainly blessings. Today I am grateful for the many things in my life that continue to work/do their job/exist despite me not noticing them.
- my health
- my amazing body (producing milk is my super power... what do you do?)
- my intellect
- my talents
- my air conditioner
- my heater
- my electricity
- my home
- my computer
- my internet connection
- my favorite books, shows and movies
- the food in my fridge
- my super awesome car
- Landon's job

This is a greatly abbreviated list, I'm sure, but Landon's football game is about to start and I promised I'd keep Mason out of his hair so he can enjoy it.

Thanks to God for all the many blessings in my life!

not so great with words

I just realized that my last title included "putting out," which, in retrospect, was probably not the best choice of words. Anyhow... that's okay. It's not like anyone reads this but me.
Right now, I'm really appreciating my husband. For some reason, he decided that doing the dishes is a job he can help me with. Which is super friggin' awesome. Because I hate the dishes. A lot. So he's done the dishes the last two nights. Awesome. He's down there right now scrubbing something hard enough that I can hear the scrubbing side of the sponge rubbing on what ever surface he is cleaning. I love that. A lot. A whole, whole lot.
I'm sure lucky to be married to that guy downstairs who is scrubbing so hard.
: )

putting out... getting back

I am a brat. I am constantly looking at my situation trying to find ways in which it could be better. . . "This new townhouse is great, but it sure would be nice to have a garage. . ." or "I love my new camera, but a longer lens would be so much better. . ." Landon has spent the better part of the last ten years trying to do everything in his power to give me what I want only to feel afterward like he shouldn't have bothered because it never has been quite good enough. I like to blame this personality trait on my dad because he is the sort of person who is always trying to make things better. He is very critical of himself and pretty much everyone else, and I think it is definitely a personality trait that he passed on to most of his 7 kids. Today, however, I am going to choose to stop blaming that flaw on my dad and start taking ownership of my own inability to be grateful for what I have.

I have been working really hard the last few weeks on doing the little things that mean a lot to Landon. I've cooked dinner more in the last month than I did in probably the six months previous. That, alone, is huge for Landon. I've tried to do a general pick up of the house before Landon gets home at the end of the day. I've tried to be the one up with the kids in the morning so Landon can get a little more sleep since I have the opportunity to nap with the kids later in the day. I've tried really hard to pay attention to my personal appearance rather than looking like I just rolled out of bed. And I've worked hard on being affectionate and intimate with Landon every day, not just when I feel up to having sex. All of these things seem small, but I can tell what a difference they have made on my husband.

I have found that when I make dinner, I have a husband home by 6:30 to eat with us as a family. I have found that when the house is picked up, my husband is happier and better able to enjoy some time playing with the kids in the evening. I have found that when I get up with the kids during the week, my husband lets me sleep as much as I want on the weekend. I have found that when I put on some decent clothes and wear a little makeup and jewelry, my husband can't stop hugging me and telling me how beautiful I am. And I have found that when I am affectionate, my husband is more loving to the whole family.

The last few weeks in our home have been really wonderful. There have been struggles, as always, but the way I respond has been different. The way I feel has been different. Landon and I are getting along and being nice and loving with each other, and if feels wonderful.

So today, I am grateful for the magnified returns I get for very little effort.

And my husband. He's great.

another list today

Today I am grateful for...
... good fiction and the escape it can provide
... husbands who do the dishes, especially while dancing to their ipod
... the company of grown ups
... Mason's new school and how excited he is to go
... Marissa's laughs
... playdates with my sisters' families

Mason, an exceptional boy

I've been struggling with Mason pretty much since I had Marissa. So today I will focus a little on why I am so incredibly lucky to be that little dude's mom.
Mason is great. Why? Well, many reasons.
Mason wants to please me. He tries hard to please me. He is eager to help me clean, make dinner, mow the lawn, take care of his sister, and anything else his little mind can come up with to please his crazy mom.
Mason is funny. He already has an acute sense of what is hilarious, most of the time intentionally. It always surprises me how funny he is on purpose. However, it is often the times when he isn't trying to be funny that crack me up the most. He likes to say, "You made me funny (or silly)" when we make him laugh. Too cute.
Mason is smart. Smarter than me, I think, already. His little brain gets going so fast sometimes that his mouth can't keep up. He remembers every little detail of so many things. He is intellectually curious and eager to learn more about pretty much anything. He wants me to identify every spider or insect we come across (too bad I don't much beyond daddy long legs...). He just devours any new information I can give him. And he's starting to figure out how to play any situation to his advantage. His brain works so much like Landon's, (who is brilliant) it's almost scary.
Mason is sweet and tender. He always comforts me when I'm upset or hurt, just the way I comfort him. He wants to kiss me and snuggle me and tell me that he "still" loves me. He is crushed when I am not happy with something he has done. My favorite thing he says lately is, "I love you, and you love me too. So let's kiss (or hug)." How can you not love that?
Mason is an awesome big brother. He ADORES Marissa and tries to include her in everything he does. He asks to have her in the bath with him. He climbs into bed with her every morning to play with her so his dad and I can sleep just a little bit longer. He LOVES when we "talk" for Marissa, and obviously can't wait until she can talk for herself. He comforts her when she's sad and plays games with her when ever he can. And in turn, his little sister is clearly in love with her big brother. She just thinks he's the greatest, funniest guy in the whole world.
Mason is a good boy. He has good manners, especially for a three year old. He thanks people and praises others when they have done something well or been nice to him. He tries hard to "use his words" rather than hit or yell when he is playing with other kids who have not been so nice. He tries to be helpful without being asked like watering the plants or feeding his sister. If you watch him, you can see that he tries hard to master his impulses, trying to do the things he knows he is supposed to, which is pretty darn impressive for a kid his age.
Mason is fun. He loves to have a good time and likes others to have fun too. He loves going to the beach, playing at the park and dancing with his mom. He wants to include others in his fun rather than keeping it to himself.
Mason is gorgeous. Okay, this is more due to an exceptional blend of genetics (I mean, who would have thought that Landon and I could make such amazingly cute kids?), but his personality definitely comes through and helps him be even more adorable and more attractive. He's just a really beautiful boy. I love watching him.
Part of this whole learning gratitude for me is really about learning to appreciate my family while I can. I know how fleeting life is, and I don't want to all of a sudden be twenty years down the road wishing I had savored the moments I had with my children while they were still small. I am blessed with a beautiful, happy, healthy family, but I often get caught up in the little frustrations of every day.
Yesterday, Mason decided he wanted to make some cereal for Marissa. He made a huge mess with the cereal but was trying to clean it up when I found him. He was apologetic about the mess. I got a little upset with him, but not too bad (for me at least). I should have thanked him for being such a good helper. Instead I scolded him for the mess. Who cares about the mess? I can clean up the stupid mess. Then later in the day, I discovered that Mason had watered our new orchid (he loves to pick out flowers when we go to Trader Joe's), apparently with the majority of a 16 oz bottle of water. He got a lot of things wet that I was really upset about... my camera, some important documents, some professional photographs of his sister, our phone. I freaked out. I yelled and criticized and otherwise carried on. It hurt his feelings so bad, but I just kept yelling. He said, "Momma, you hurt my feelings!" and I told him I didn't care. What an awful, awful thing to say to a sweet little boy who was just trying to water his flower. If I didn't want those things to get hurt, then I should have put them away rather than just have them laying around on the kitchen counter. If I didn't want Mason to spill, then I should have put away the opened water bottle rather than leave it well within his reach. He is three years old and is going to make some messes and do some things that I would rather he didn't. I can't control that, but I can control his environment. It is MY JOB to control his environment, and when I don't, it is my fault, not his.
I'm incredibly fortunate that Mason came to live at my house. He is such an amazing little boy. I need to work harder on remembering how lucky I am to be his mom.

a little about me...

I've been blessed with a multitude of talents, for which I am very grateful. I think my most outstanding talent might just be mad baking skillz. I like to bake when we have people over, and I seriously almost always impress myself. I try not to bake that often since Landon and I aren't exactly in the best shape, but damn! I sure enjoy the fruits of that labor. I am grateful for my ability to make the foods I enjoy most. There is something really satisfying about it for me.
Landon likes to tell people that my cheesecake was a deciding factor in whether he should marry me. It's that good. Come on over and I'll show you! : )

I am grateful....

... for the gratitude of others when I have done something for them.
I worked hard the last two days trying to work on things Landon would like me to do more, and he was very appreciative. In turn, that makes me want to do more stuff like that.
Gratitude is great like that. It helps us be better people. Which is why I want to be more grateful.

a sidenote

So this isn't really about gratitude today, but I am going to write about it anyway. Because I think it will be interesting later, regardless of the outcome.

I've felt pretty crappy for 4 days now. On Thursday, I was sure I was starting my period (hence Friday's post about chocolate cake and crazy lady). It didn't happen. I'm still feeling rather PMSy. So I bought a pregnancy test today despite the fact that Landon had a vasectomy two months ago. I'm probably being silly, but I can't get it out of my mind.

Potential reason(s):
I wasn't really ready for us to be sterile (although I'm sure Landon would scoff at my use of "us" here since he was the one who went under the knife). Even though I'm quite certain that I would be 100% happy if we didn't have any more kids, part of me is maybe a little sad that I am not going to have the big family I always thought I would (when I was like 12, I thought I would have six kids... conveniently there would be three of each gender. They had names, both first and middle, and I wrote about/to them in my diary... I am going to go ahead and blame that on being a Mormon, alright? Marissa Lee was one of the names, so that sorta happened.)

Anyhow, Landon thinks it's funny and has even gone so far as to say he would be willing to bet all our money (and we are thousandaires, after all : p) on me not being pregnant. I decided to wait one more night before taking the test. When I bought Marissa's test, I waited and dreamed about the outcome (Landon likes to call me the trivial psychic). Let's see if I dream the actual outcome this time too.

I will be happy regardless of the outcome of the test. I trust God.

I like pie

And today I am grateful for pie. And my awesome ability to make really yummy pie. MMM-mmm good!

Landon, the greatest husband in the world

Today I am grateful for Landon, the greatest husband in the world. Our last 36 hours together look something like this:
He gets home from work. I tell him I feel like crap and that I'm on the edge of being the crazy lady. He tells me he's sorry and lets me be.
He puts Mase to bed. I tell him I want chocolate cake. And ice cream. He immediately runs to the store and brings back two different chocolate cakes and ice cream. And Henry Weinhardt's rootbeer. Oh my goodness, I love this man. Then he lets me pick out the movie (this is pretty big for us) and we watch Amelie. Very nice.
Then this morning. . . He let me sleep in. Then he kept telling me how sorry he was that I wasn't feeling well. Then he came home from work really early. Then he took Mason and kept him busy all day. Then he let me be again this evening so I can be a bum and watch crap like what not to wear.
I love Landon. He's the best, best, best!

really grateful for...

I'm really grateful that Corra was not hurt worse than she was. Falling into a fire pit could have been really devastating, but she came away with mostly 2nd degree burns, limited just to her hands and lower arms. After visiting her at the burn unit at Shriner's... seeing just a few of the children being treated there... she's a lucky girl. For that, I'm very grateful today.

Today I'm grateful for...

... my two beautiful, healthy, happy kids who love me and each other. They bring me more joy and more love than I knew was possible before becoming a parent.
... my husband, who works hard to provide a comfortable life for us, who works hard to be the best dad he can, who wants so badly to make me happy and who makes me laugh all the time.
... my health.
... my big family, who are also my best friends.
... my nice home back in Sacramento, close to all the people I love the most.
... the yard behind my townhouse that gives me and Mason a chance to play in the dirt together. I missed gardening!
... being able to eat what I want when I want it.
... a husband who is willing to sell his sports car to get me a bigger car so I can haul around my nieces and nephews when I want.
... my health and the health of my family.
... Austin's remission.
... Mason putting his poops and pee in the potty!
... the fact that Landon finally has a job that he likes.
... being able to stay at home to raise my children.
... my new car! YAY!

Lesson 1: You keep getting the same lessons over and over...

Something I truly believe is that God will continue to present the same lesson, over and over and over, until you really learn it. One lesson that I keep getting is gratitude. I'm no good at it, and I'm certain it's one that is vital to my happiness.
A lot of people seem to use their blogs as places to rant and complain. I don't want to do that here. I want to use this forum as a place for me to practice at being grateful. This will be where I record my process of becoming a woman with a grateful heart. It likely will not be interesting to anyone but me, and I am okay with that. Hopefully I will get really good at gratitude and be able to teach my children how to be grateful by example. If not, perhaps this can be a tool for them later to learn it themselves.
Since I'm not really all that sure how to become grateful, I've decided to start with lists of things I am grateful for and build from there. So here goes...