a sidenote

So this isn't really about gratitude today, but I am going to write about it anyway. Because I think it will be interesting later, regardless of the outcome.

I've felt pretty crappy for 4 days now. On Thursday, I was sure I was starting my period (hence Friday's post about chocolate cake and crazy lady). It didn't happen. I'm still feeling rather PMSy. So I bought a pregnancy test today despite the fact that Landon had a vasectomy two months ago. I'm probably being silly, but I can't get it out of my mind.

Potential reason(s):
I wasn't really ready for us to be sterile (although I'm sure Landon would scoff at my use of "us" here since he was the one who went under the knife). Even though I'm quite certain that I would be 100% happy if we didn't have any more kids, part of me is maybe a little sad that I am not going to have the big family I always thought I would (when I was like 12, I thought I would have six kids... conveniently there would be three of each gender. They had names, both first and middle, and I wrote about/to them in my diary... I am going to go ahead and blame that on being a Mormon, alright? Marissa Lee was one of the names, so that sorta happened.)

Anyhow, Landon thinks it's funny and has even gone so far as to say he would be willing to bet all our money (and we are thousandaires, after all : p) on me not being pregnant. I decided to wait one more night before taking the test. When I bought Marissa's test, I waited and dreamed about the outcome (Landon likes to call me the trivial psychic). Let's see if I dream the actual outcome this time too.

I will be happy regardless of the outcome of the test. I trust God.